It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
