I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
