So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
