NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
