Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
