its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
