I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
