is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
