just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
