i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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