Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
