Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
