this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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