i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize