She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
