I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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