Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
