I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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