you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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