after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
