so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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