those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
