Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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