Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
