the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize