Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
