I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
