Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
