you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
