Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
