I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
This girl is more easily done than said...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
