I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
