did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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