There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
