Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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