3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
