I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
