You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
