This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
