I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
