Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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