i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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