I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We left the knife in your bed.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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