He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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