Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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