some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
