Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
