:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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