oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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