You can't special order awesome
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So much rum. So many feels.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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