you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
