I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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