i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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