i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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