Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
