do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
