Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
