I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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