ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
